Saturday, May 14, 2011
I have needs I can’t tell anyone about
Anytime I cry, you slap me. Anytime I cried you slapped me. Now that you are not here, I am slapping myself and laughing. Crying and dancing. waking to dream. eating my nails. washing my ears of the lies you spoke. “I do, I do…”
I do not know why I let you slap me till I could feel no pain. no love for you or for me. And now slaps is my music. The music that drives me away. Stop.
I stopped. I stopped loving lies. I stopped believing in tomorrow. I just stopped and held today by hair. She disappeared. She was not today. She was what I let today hide behind. She was invisible sharp broken glass scattered everywhere. She will cut you. She doesn’t mean to, she just cuts.
Cuts that won’t heal. I don’t mean her, the fake today. Cuts I didn’t allow winds to kiss. So many cuts crying thick dark red.
Wailing cuts are hard to get. Now I stop to listen. Kiss them air, they want kisses. Touch them sun they want warmth. As for me, I want today, the real today.
Posted by Nana at 7:57 PM