Lessmaa

Every now and then

I remember to give  

my mother a hug

to ask her how she is doing

how she feels

what she wants

I try to match the attention

and love she gives me everyday  

I buy her gifts

not for her birthday

not for mother’s day

just because I thought about her

when I entered the store

Every now and then

I see her unconditional love

and question mine

because every time I have said she is awesome

It’s been right after she’s fed me

picked up my call in the middle of the night

lent me some money

told me my shoe size when I had forgotten

forced me to drink herbs that took away my cold

Every now and then I wish

I wouldn’t forget

that she is human too

with fears and dreams and flaws and favourite colours— 

I don’t know my mother’s favourite colour

Does my mother have a favourite colour?

Every now and then if

I would look into mama’s eyes

and tell her

don’t make your entire life about me, about us— your children, your husband, your family

Live mama, live for you every now and then

chase your dreams every now and then

face your fears every now and then

forget about me every now and then

Live

Live mama

Live everyday

so when you die

You won’t be a tired ancestor  

watching over me

wishing you had wet your feet

in the deep blue sea